5 Red Warning Signs Of A Toxic Friendship And Signs Of A Good Friend

Friends make life more meaningful as they contribute social and emotional support, ease feelings of loneliness, and help you feel more satisfied and sparkling in life. But eventually, some of your friends will no longer be in your life as not every friendship stays lifelong. Dr Kausthub Desikachar says on the flip side, a few elements of a particular friend can be toxic and make you feel like crap. In this article, Dr Kausthub Desikachar shares the 5 red warning signs of a toxic friendship and signs of a good friend.

None of us can endure the idea of losing a friend. All friendships have ups and downs, but remember that you don’t deserve to be mistreated, especially by a friend. If you are unsure if their friendship is toxic, the questions below will help you figure out the deep feeling you have for them. 

  1. Do they admire you for who you are?
  2. Do you enjoy when you hang around with them?
  3. Do you look forth to being together with them?
  4. Do they make you perceive great about yourself?
  5. Are they invariably for you when you require them?
  6. Do you feel renewed after hanging around with them?
  7. Do they give ears to you? 
  8. Can you believe them with a secret?
  9. Do you feel like you you know who they really are as a person?
  10. Do they often ditch you when someone else comes along?

If your score is

9-10:  Your friendship is good 🙂

6-8: You could talk to them and set things right.

0-5:  Your friendship might be unhealthy.

5 Red Warning Signs Of A Toxic Friendship

Dr Kausthub Desikachar says the intricate thing with buddies is that we have an abundance of love and admiration for them, that sometimes the same love can blindfold us to their faulty manner and the ways they influence our lives. If you’re springing to sense your “bestie” is no longer the most suitable thing for you, odds are you’re in a toxic friendship. It’s imperative to understand the caution signs of a toxic friend. So here are the 5 red warning signs of a toxic friendship to look out for:

1. Everything Is About Them And Their Problems

A toxic friend will never genuinely listen to you or your problems. With a toxic friend, everything twirls encompassing their life and their problems. Do you have a friend who barely comes to you when things are progressing well with them?  

Does your friend come to you only they need something from you, looking for a solution for their problem or a piece of advice? 

These friends are often unreachable when you need them. They may talk to you for a full hour to discuss about their problems, then pump out a half-hearted “how are you?” and then forget you until the next problem arises for them. This kind of friendship is toxic, unhealthy and not stable. 

2. Does Not Celebrate Your Accomplishments

A toxic friend will never compliment you or celebrate your achievements. Friends usually play around and joke with each other, and a little good-natured bullying doesn’t mean your friendship is toxic, notably if you’re giggling, too. But, if you have remarked that they are always there to criticize you and put you down when something goes wrong, then this friendship can be draining your energy and is toxic and unhealthy. 

Dr Kausthub Desikachar says you will sooner apprehend that you never feel happy or comfortable around them because they don’t make you feel good about yourself. 

3. Does Not Care A Damn About Your Privacy 

A toxic friend does not keep your secrets to themselves. Nothing breaks trust faster than gossip. If your friend shares your secrets and stories about you with other people, it is evident that your friendship is toxic. They seem to enjoy spreading your secrets around without thinking about your feelings, privacy and security. Dr Kausthub Desikachar says never trust a friend who gossips and talks poorly about others. Well, it’s easy to assume they may talk about you to other people and cannot be trusted with your secrets. 

4. You Don’t Know Them Fully

Toxic friends can be fickle. A toxic friend gets abusive, remarkably irritated and shout at you for tiny things, and upsets you for no reason, and then, there are days when they act really good and reassuring. If you frequently feel that their behaviour keeps changing, you get clueless about them, or if you are having a hard time figuring their true self, it’s time you recognize that this friendship is toxic and volatile. 

5. Jealous Of Other Friends And Compares You With Others

A toxic friend will always try to isolate you from your other friends because they are jealous. Have they ever criticized your friends for no reason and blamed your other friends if you didn’t respond to their calls or texts? Well, this shows that they are strangely jealous of your friends. Not just that, because of their possessiveness, they start confronting you with others, belittle your friendship, and start demonstrating that you are less important to them. These are sure signs of a toxic friendship. 

A good friend does not limit your friendship with others and does not portray a possessive nature, and do mean things like comparing you with others. 

Sings Of A Good Friend

  1. A good friend is invariably there for you, no matter what they are going through.
  2. They do not judge you and your decisions.
  3. An ideal friend doesn’t willfully hurt your emotions or kick you down.
  4. They are lovable and courteous to you.
  5. You would enjoy their companionship at any time. 
  6. A good friend is trustworthy.
  7. A good-hearted friend makes you laugh and glow.
  8. They are ever ready to give ears to you.
  9. They encourage you to make good decisions in life.
  10. They compliment and celebrate your achievements. 


Dr Kausthub Desikachar says toxic friendship can have a pretty bad influence on your overall happiness and health. If you discern any of the above indications after spending time with a friend, you may require to contemplate dropping your friendship in an amicable manner.

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Dr Kausthub Desikachar

Dr Kausthub Desikachar

Dr. Kausthub Desikachar is the successor and current lineage holder of the classical Viniyoga tradition of T Krishnamacharya & TKV Desikachar. He is an acclaimed yoga teacher, yoga therapist, healer and spiritual adviser. He is also an avid photographer, inspirational writer and poet.

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